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January 29, 2013

Advice Needed: Does "no" REALLY mean "no"?

I saw a woman at the store the other day with her 4 children, and the oldest one asked her mother "Mama? Is it food stamp day?" The girls mother said no. Eying the candy lining the checkout lane, she asked "Well, can we still get something anyway?" Her mom said no, and started fussing about them always wanting stuff, etc. 
Considering she was only buying three things and had a coupon for those items, I wondered if she possible could not afford to buy a candy (because four kids mean four candies) or if she just didn't think they needed anything? I wanted SOOOO badly to tell her I'd buy each of the kids one candy ...but then... I remembered a friend of mine telling me a similar story.
 She said her child asked for a candy, and she told her child no.  A stranger offered to buy the child some candy, and the mom was like "fine, whatever, take the candy." Once they were outside, the mother opened and discarded the candy to teach her child that 1) No means no and 2) Not to take stuff from strangers. 
So in the end, I decided not to say anything to the mom/kids... What do you think? How could I approach that kind of situation next time to see if she would allow me to get them something or if she is a "no means no" kind of parent? I'm a sucker for spoiling kids, especially those in need.
 Advice needed.

5 comments:

  1. that's such a tough situation. I think because it's candy, no means no. Another risk you run is offending the mom if you say something. Maybe she doesn't want to accept help from others (aside from the food stamps). I think you handled the situation perfectly just to stay out of it. It's hard when you want to spoil kids and make their day. But hopefully you'll have another opportunity soon when the answer of what to do is easier.

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  2. That's a hard one. I generally take the parent's lead. She may have had other reasons for saying no. If she had said "no because we can't afford it" then I may have stepped in, but she simply said no.

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  3. I have nominated you for a liebster award!
    http://blessedamazingly.blogspot.com/2013/01/my-2nd-leibster-award.html

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  4. I agree with the others that it's probably best to not step in. There may have been reasons other than lack of money for the mom to not want her kids eating candy, and she may not have appreciated you stepping in and offering it to her kids.

    On another note, thanks so much for linking up to my blog hop! Great to discover another single blogger.

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